In the last article of a three-part series on quieting negative voices in your head, the MMSNorCal coaches share the benefits and value of quieting negative voices in your life, love, work, and parenting. (You can read the previous artices here: Part 1, Understanding Negative Voices in Your Head and Part 2, How to Quiet Negative Voices in Your Head).
Powerful benefits of quieting negative voices in your head include:
- Freeing up space to feel positive about yourself
- Stopping trying to control or fix things
- Showing up with positivity
And, lastly, we talk about how coaching can help you quiet the negative voices in your head.
Feel Positive and Good About Yourself
Coach Muriel Murphy is very happy and pleased with her success in quieting negative voices in her head.
She says,”Wow! Not hearing those negative thoughts is a life changer. Not only am I getting much better sleep but I have given myself permission to be proud of myself, feel good about who I am and all that I have been through. I think that has rubbed off on my children, so they can feel good about themselves too.”
She continues, “I also know I am smart, strong and loveable. That has given me confidence to go after the things that I want in life, appreciate what I have and has made every relationship I have be more meaningful and deeper.”
Stop Trying to Control or Fix Things
Coach Carla Morton feels the following three mantras or phrases have helped her from trying to fix or control everything:
- Everything will work out for the best
- This too shall pass
- Trust, Trust, Trust
She adds, “Of course we want to try to fix or control but we don’t really have that power when we are dealing with life, love, work and parenting, so I talk myself into this State of Allowing; I’ve found everything does work out!”
For Coach Hayden-Marsan, the techniques she uses to quieten negative voices in her head are literally a life raft for her in the open sea called Life.
She adds, “Committing myself to working on the practices I’ve mentioned and cultivating awareness is a lifelong on-going commitment for me.
I feel like I have come a long way in my journey, but I still have times when I get swept away with reactivity, or emotions; there are just a lot less of those moments, which inspires me to keep on doing the work.”
Show up with Positivity
Coach Mueller Ihrig finds that she shows up in life as a more positive person. She has received valued feedback from colleagues, family members and most importantly, my grown boys!
She adds, “My mission in life is to make a difference, to create an impact.To inspire and connect, to elevate our individual and collective wellbeing to enrich the world. If we are to meet the immense challenges we face today, we need to rise to our higher potential.Adopting an empowering mindset is key to this.I find myself more motivated and importantly, more resilient, when changing my inner dialogue.”
How Coaching can Help Quiet the Negative Voices
Understand the Power of the Subconscious
Coach Mueller Ihrig shows her coaching clients a graphic of how the brain takes in information and the power of the subconscious. She also explains that as humans we are wired with a negativity bias and that we tend to automatically focus on the negative rather than on the positive.
For example,did you know that it takes approximately three positive thoughts or actions to combat a single negative experience?
She adds, “The great news is we can rewire our brains to process differently with practice. Practicing awareness of when the negative voices come up, and to immediately change them around. Implementing proactive times during the day, like my morning routine, to regularly focus on the positive and literally tell yourself what you need to hear to aspire to your higher self.”
Coach Mueller Ihrig also encourages her clients to journal daily about their experiences to track progress, keep a forward momentum, and create daily habits.
Understand the Negative Voices
Coach Lindsey Taylor-Vivier helps her coaching clients by trying to normalize the negative voices so that they don’t feel so alone in this experience. She draws out the voices with questions, such as:
- What is he/she saying?
- What are the feelings underneath the words?
- When did the voice appear?
Coach Lindsey often finds that the negative voice is a part of the client that needs to be acknowledged, loved, and healed. For this part of the work, she asks her client the following questions:
- What does he/she need?
- How can he/she heal?
- What’s in the way?
Redirect to a More Positive Thought Pattern
Coach Muriel stays present and compassionate with her clients when they feel negative thoughts are dominating their mind.
And, while staying with them, she begins to ask open-ended questions to redirect the pattern of negative thoughts and voices towards a more positive thought pattern.
Increase Self Awareness
Coach Carla uses the opportunity of addressing negative voices as a way of increasing her client’s self awareness. She asks her client “to look at the gift of each difficult moment. I ask them what is in their awareness and what they are learning about themselves when they are in the negativity.”
She also asks her clients to be compassionate with their negative voices rather than feel shame, negativity, or deny their existence.
Coach Hayden-Marsan helps her clients increase self awareness around negative thoughts or voices. She talks about the importance and value of even noticing when we are having negative thoughts. The fact is that noticing thoughts requires some level of awareness, which is worth recognizing and acknowledging for ourselves.
This coaching moment helps Coach Hayden-Marsan focus on”the importance of developing a compassionate mindset. Being compassionate with ourselves is a key element in the process of learning new, positive behaviors.
A self-compassionate mind set will help be able to stick with initiating new tools and instilling new behaviors. She is a strong proponent of developing a compassionate mindset.
Take Positive Action
Coach Sarah E. Spencer finds that many of her clients experience shaken confidence, some for the first time, which can create negative thoughts.
She says, “As we work together to uncover these thoughts and emotions, if they can identify to take one action step, no matter how small, and reward themselves for taking the action, they can create positive momentum and many times the negative voices will start to disappear.”
Good luck on your journey in quieting the negative voices in your head!